Saturday, November 19, 2011

Do This, You Do That, and I'll Take Care of The Rest

Strength in Counsel:
First, focus on fundamentals
Second, focus on people
Third, promote free and open expression
Fourth, participation is privilege
Fifth, lead with love

These are a few of the key points from the readings this week that I enjoyed. I enjoyed this week's lessons and discussions. These are things that I needed to hear as a single and even more so when I am married with my own family. I feel that so often, we get caught up in how "we like things to be" and don't take the time to ask others how they think things could be or should be done. I am very guilty of this, for which I am grateful that we had the discussions we did in class. I loved the diagram of the Prophet with the quorum of the twelve as well as his counselors and the discussion there. The scripture from Ephesians 4:12-13 - “But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. …But now are they many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. …And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it” 
This is how it should be in the family unit - equal opportunity for all to help, give their input, and speak up where needs be. 

I also enjoyed our discussions on women working and not spending much time at home. There were a few sensitive spots I think we touched on. It is completely accepted in our society for a woman to work full-time while "neglecting" chores or tasks or relationships that are left at home. It is hard for a woman in this time to stay at home due to dissatisfaction or comparison to those around them. They feel the need to get out into the workforce for feel more "accepted" and perhaps more useful. Women compare themselves. I think every women needs to listen or read every single talk that President Uchtdorf has ever given on women and their divine worth. Maybe then we wouldn't have that constant need to get out and work all the time. Should the work at home not suffice? This is the most important role of all. Only in situations where it is completely necessary (financial issues or other problems) should a woman go to work, leaving her divine calling at home where is is almost forgotten. 

Saturday, November 12, 2011

ABC Easy As 123

This week we learned about family crises and how our family of origin have dealt with these crises in the past. 
The family process model helps us understand how families deal with crises. 
A - actual event
B - behavioral responses
C - cognition(s)
X - experience
(This is Brother Williams' version :) )

This week helped me to reflect on ways that my family dealt with crises over the years. There are times when we are better equipped to handle a crisis and other times when it an be more difficult. I really enjoyed the stories that Brother Williams shared in class this week. The story about his son who was shot in the eye with an arrow was a great example of a way that we can respond calmly in an unexpected crisis. Think of the consequences that could have come if he had not responded in the manner that he did. 

There's a really nice quote that I remember from Preach My Gospel that is a nice reminder to me of what important value to remember when we come upon trials:

"Life is full of difficulties, some
minor and others of a more
serious nature. There seems to
be an unending supply of
challenges for one and all. Our
problem is that we often expect
instantaneous solutions to such
challenges, forgetting that
frequently the heavenly virtue of
patience is required.”

Family crises are a learning process for everyone. Just as Brother Williams told us the story of his parents when they were first married and experienced the loss of a child....they were much better prepared and able to deal with the next loss of a child years later. They are learning experiences that in hopes will bring us together as a family unit and help us  to better understand how to deal with each crisis that we come across each time we experience one. 

Friday, November 4, 2011

Friends, Facebook, and INfidelity

I really enjoyed our discussions this week in class. I think we had to touch on a few touchy subjects, but they were things to help open our eyes and further our knowledge of the things taking place in the world today. Essentially these are issues that we need to be aware of to know what we will be facing when we reach certain stages of our marriage and parenthood.

For starters, I feel like a lot was gained from Brother Gardner's article. He touched on the causes of infidelity, what infidelity is, and how we can avoid it in certain aspects. I think my favorite story/insight that was shared, was the story about the woman who kept feeling an attachment to her best friend even though she was married. She made sure that she would run into him on campus and eventually came to the conclusion that what she was doing was wrong. I have a friend who I am so emotionally attached to that sometimes I feel like this could be a red flag in future relationships. I loved what she said: "I want to have the greenest, most beautiful grass is on the side of the fence where my husband is, and I will not let anything in to harm that." She recognized that her friendship with her best friend was on the verge of becoming an emotional affair. When we see the smallest signs, it is our duty to push any idea that might lead to this completely out of our minds.
A few key points I want to hit on:

  • "Thought is the father of an act." This means that the second we begin to think something, we immediately become more susceptible to committing that act than had we not had the thought at all.
  • Venting is something you do with heating and exhaust systems. You do not vent to someone or confide in someone even if you think you may never have any "feelings" for them.
  • Even pornography is considered infidelity. This is the most common form. We begin to categorize physical instead of emotional arousal. In my own personal opinion: I have done research on this particular subject. It is poisonous to a marriage, the individual committing the act, and anyone that person is emotionally attached to. Just over a week ago I found some disappointing information about a friend who has been viewing this material. I am very emotionally attached to this person and can attest to how it can poison all parties involved. It is mocking the temple that God has given us, it is offensive to the Spirit, it is offensive to your significant other. It is Satan's mockery of sexual feelings. In the long run, it will not bring any happiness to the table...only grief, sadness, loneliness, and doubt. I love this video from on Mormon Messages.
This video portrays the good and bad that can come from a person's choice to partake or push away from the viewing of pornography.

I hope that we can all take away the different things that we touched on in class and through our readings. I feel very strongly that these are things that Heavenly Father wants us to be aware of so that we can shudder at the thought of infidelity.