Why Am I Here? What Is My Purpose?

This week in class, we had several different discussions on the role of male and female....and later in the week, we talked about homosexual relations. I'll be completely honest; the topics of discussion this week were a little on the frustrating/confusing side for me. I'll tell you why.....first I'll start off with our role as men and women in this world:

1. I had a hard time with our discussion in class about the roles of men and women. Our society puts such heavy emphasis on the fact that women didn't have rights for such a long time, so now we have to "prove" ourselves in a sense and make it known to the world that we can do this, that, and the other just like the men can. Brother Williams and I chatted after class about this particular subject. Is it so hard for the world to understand these roles. I believe the reason for this is that there is lack of complete truth in their lives. We have the gospel, but even then it is my belief that we tend to confuse our roles. I know that when Heavenly Father created me, He gave me certain qualities and traits that my brothers wouldn't have. I know when I am married, there will be certain things that I will be better at than my husband. I'll most likely be the one that stays home and takes care of the kids' school lunches, changing diapers, taking care of household responsibilities, and above all: nurturing. And this is okay with me, because I know when it comes to other certain things, my husband will be able to take care of the "rough and tumble" responsibilities. Is it wrong of me to say this? I don't think so. When we have a testimony of our divine nature and what our role is here, we won't have fight the facts. It is what it is. And what it is, is what God intended it to be.

2. The other thing I struggled with this week was the whole homosexual discussion. I didn't have a hard time with the things we discussed, but I had this deep sorrow for the people that turn down that path. What a difficult trial it must be to not understand yourself and have the constant question: "Was I born that way?" Many homosexual tendencies come from molestation and harsh judgments from their peers (especially growing up). Many homosexuals, "don't know" because they never "experimented". However, it is a natural tendency for the human mind to respond to such experimentation's. When you are looking for some sort of "arousal",  you will most likely get it. I believe that a good percent (based entirely on opinion) of homosexual individuals are confused because the perceived things the wrong way. 

-->The other part of this that frustrated me is that for every person who turns down that path, that is how many children that will not have the opportunity to come down to this earth. Satan is winning with each person who takes a step in that direction. Think of the many souls that will not receive their opportunity to come experience this beautiful life and grow and learn and have wonderful day-to-day experiences. We have to fight back.

I feel like I've rambled a bit here, but these are my honest opinions on the subjects we covered this week. I did walk away with a greater appreciation for my own individual divine nature this week, and also a greater understanding and compassion toward homosexual individuals. There is much to be learned.

My Big Fat Greek Family

The thing that I enjoyed learning the most about this week was the immigration article.

Let me start with a brief clip from a fantastic movie called My Big Fat Greek Wedding: Wedding Scene 

This scene displays the family's desire for the soon-to-be husband to cultivate himself to their traditions. They are very staunch in their beliefs because of their ethnic background so it is hard for the family to accept this "outsider". It is hard for the family to accept their daughter's choices...this is known as acculturation. Familism is when the family is involved deeply in the sense of the individual being inextricably rooted in the family. It encompasses attitudes, behaviors, and family structures. I really enjoyed learning about immigrant family systems and how it effects them over a period of time.

Why Do They Have a Barbed Wire Fence Around Their House??

This week in Family Relations, we discussed the different theories/systems in a family.

I really enjoyed it. I'm known for psychoanalyzing people from time to time, so it was fun for me to learn about the different family systems--what kind of boundaries they have, how to cope with different family situations, etc. Minuchin's model is probably my favorite because it explains things very simply in terms that we can understand. 

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A straight line is a rigid boundary, which means this family isn't very open to change and probably isn't very open to having visitors. Ever wonder why your neighbor has trees surrounding the front yard so you can't see in? Hmmm...

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A dotted line is a diffuse boundary, which means this family probably needs to set up boundaries of some sort. They need to find some kind of system within their family where they don't always let information flow freely from the home. Have some kind of private boundary.

You never know what kind of visitors you'll get at these houses....

Okay, that's a joke.

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A dashed line means clear boundaries, which means this family is open to change for the most part and there are certain things they'll talk about outside the home and certain things that stay in. They are welcoming and try to adjust to change rather than run from it. Like we talked about in class, doesn't the white picket fence make you feel like you can talk to this family without feeling you're stepping on their toes?

In my opinion, the clear boundary seems to be the healthiest. I don't think it is healthy for a family to keep everyone out and everything in, but it is also unhealthy to let information flow freely from one person to the next outside of the family. It is wise to set up guidelines within the family unit that help the family keep a healthy identity.

What I Learned This Week:

This week in Family Relations, we were asked to focus on a few readings to prepare for future assignments in the class.  I learned how a genogram works. One of our articles explained how to read a genogram and form one for when we eventually interview a family later this semester. It helped me to get a feel for what kind of questions I might ask as well when I am ready to interview them.
It also talked about rigid boundaries, permeable or clear boundaries, and poor or overly permeable boundaries.
Rigid boundaries are when a family isn't super open and "warm". They are very closed and it is common if their neighbors don't know much about their personal lives.
Permeable or clear boundaries are a healthy degree and quality exchange of information takes place. They are open to those around them.
Poor or overly permeable boundaries are when the boundaries are easily violated maybe due to lax rules and they are very open/overly-open and most likely unclear.
We also discussed in class the pros and cons of research. I feel like the comments in class helped me to understand how to better approach the whole idea of research topics. The dangers of research is that we don't always have accurate numbers due to:
How many people took the survey?
How truthful were people when they took the survey?
How accurate was the count? etc., etc., etc.
I'm excited for the things we'll learn next week!

Just a Little Snippet

It's another great day at BYU-Idaho!

My name is Malorie Autrey. As you can see, I attend Brigham Young University - Idaho. I love it up here. The atmosphere is amazing--which makes up for the lack of nice weather during the winter months. I am a Junior studying Marriage and Family Counseling. I can't wait to apply the things I am learning in my major. 

I am just the average college student. I love to socialize and make new friends (which sometimes can get in the way of my studies), but I am trying hard to find a balance here. I love the outdoors--hiking, rafting, fishing, camping, etc. I enjoy writing--it is my way of getting my thoughts and feelings out onto paper. 

I designed this blog originally for the purpose of posting thoughts online that people would be able to comment on, but for the next few months I will be using it for my Family Relations class instead. In this class we will be learning the importance of families in society, understanding ecological and systems theory (and how to apply them), recognize the impacts of social class--race, gender, cultural background, and family structure on family systems, examining the development of families, identifying the strengths and stresses of normal family functioning, understanding the current trends in marriage and family life, assuming responsibility for obtaining information pertinent to specific personal or professional situations, and evaluating existing personal knowledge about families (genograms). 

I am excited about the insights I will experience in this class through my learning experience and I am grateful that I get to share them through this blog.